Jacob Daniel (
adarkergray) wrote2018-03-17 02:42 pm
Kenoma
Previously:
Escape From Starkiller Base
At the Monuments of Madness
A Living Weapon
To Jacob's surprise, they made it to Ahch-To's system without incident - but then, it was clear now that the Force was on their side. As per his calculations, they'd dropped out of hyperspace a few hundred thousand kilometers away, just beyond its outermost moon's orbit, and as they headed toward the planet at sublight speeds, he tried to ignore the way his protective instincts were going into overdrive.
However, the closer they got to the planet, the more he couldn't help being aware that everyone there, everyone they were going to see, was someone who'd hurt Kylo terribly, and Force, how could Jacob even begin to justify taking him down there? To put him in that level of danger, in the kind of condition he was in--
He made himself take a deep breath, though the fingers of his free hand were clamped tightly around the hilt of one of his lightsabers. The urge was incredibly strong to tell Kylo that he couldn't in good conscience do this, that there had to be another, better way to defeat Snoke, and they would find it - but, deep down, he knew that if there was, the Force would have shown it to Kylo instead. He had to have faith in his master, and in the Force.
Instead, right now, he had more sympathy than ever for why Snoke wanted to destroy the Force's will - not that he had any sympathy for Snoke himself. That thought was enough to settle his nerves slightly by reminding what they were here for, why it was important, why they could all work together just this once.
Snoke had to die. That was the one thing they all could agree on.
Finally, he calmed his mind enough to push his senses outward through the Force, to see whose presence he could detect. Even this close in, he still couldn't pick up Skywalker, but he could sort out Rey and General Organa from the background energy of the planet. He turned to Kylo. "...Your mom's still here. Do you want me to ask her to leave?"
Escape From Starkiller Base
At the Monuments of Madness
A Living Weapon
To Jacob's surprise, they made it to Ahch-To's system without incident - but then, it was clear now that the Force was on their side. As per his calculations, they'd dropped out of hyperspace a few hundred thousand kilometers away, just beyond its outermost moon's orbit, and as they headed toward the planet at sublight speeds, he tried to ignore the way his protective instincts were going into overdrive.
However, the closer they got to the planet, the more he couldn't help being aware that everyone there, everyone they were going to see, was someone who'd hurt Kylo terribly, and Force, how could Jacob even begin to justify taking him down there? To put him in that level of danger, in the kind of condition he was in--
He made himself take a deep breath, though the fingers of his free hand were clamped tightly around the hilt of one of his lightsabers. The urge was incredibly strong to tell Kylo that he couldn't in good conscience do this, that there had to be another, better way to defeat Snoke, and they would find it - but, deep down, he knew that if there was, the Force would have shown it to Kylo instead. He had to have faith in his master, and in the Force.
Instead, right now, he had more sympathy than ever for why Snoke wanted to destroy the Force's will - not that he had any sympathy for Snoke himself. That thought was enough to settle his nerves slightly by reminding what they were here for, why it was important, why they could all work together just this once.
Snoke had to die. That was the one thing they all could agree on.
Finally, he calmed his mind enough to push his senses outward through the Force, to see whose presence he could detect. Even this close in, he still couldn't pick up Skywalker, but he could sort out Rey and General Organa from the background energy of the planet. He turned to Kylo. "...Your mom's still here. Do you want me to ask her to leave?"
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She'd been through more than that - and it wasn't exactly pleasant.
Rey welcomed the visualization exercises far more than she would admit. Her first instinct, as it had been when she woke up in a First Order interrogation chair, was to counter. She didn’t know why that came so naturally to her, and she honestly wasn’t aware she was doing it until she hit the inevitable block in Jacob’s solid mental defenses. The fact that he didn’t take advantage of the compromised position he later informed her of made her trust him a little bit more than before.
When he asked her to attempt to breach his mind, she agreed.
They stopped for a moment. Rey adjusted her stance and then reached up to his head the way Kylo did to her. It wasn’t necessary - her earlier accidental attempts more than proved that - but she thought it might make the technique stronger. (In reality, it stemmed more from Kylo’s affinity for telekinesis. it was simply how his mind best perceived the Force.)
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Jacob resisted for a moment, to let her gauge how much force she was putting into the attempt and determine that she was doing it correctly. "The way I've always thought of it is that you're making your mind like water. Clear your thoughts so that there's nothing easy for your opponent to pin down. And then, instead of resisting..." He closed his eyes, and then his mental presence became evanescent for a moment, sliding out from within the grip of her assault. "...you just sort of flow somewhere else." He opened his eyes again, giving her an almost shy smile. "When I first figured out how to do that, it really got under Kylo's skin that, for the first time, I knew how to do something and he didn't. Things like that don't bother him anymore, but it was funny at the time."
Of course, he had a reason for telling her that; he was hoping he could subtly help her see Kylo as a little more human, a little less frightening. Maybe she might even come to see the good in him, as Jacob had - or at least enough of it to feel comfortable working with both of them.
"Anyway, do you want to try, or do you need me to demonstrate it again for you?" They could go through it as many times as Rey needed, but some of them might have to wait until after they'd gotten the supplies back down to the hut.
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“Do that again.” She requested, wanting to feel it again. For as much as she begged Master Skywalker, this was something he’d never offered to teach.
She asked him to demonstrate another two or three times before she felt she was ready to attempt it herself. And even then, she was wary. “...How often did Kylo force himself into your mind before you learned how to resist him?”
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"Besides, just getting past your mental defenses doesn't mean I need to go in very deep. If you're worried about what I might see, fill your surface thoughts with a strong emotion - something you can focus easily on, that will keep everything else obscured." That was what his master had instructed him to do, and it had worked; at first, that emotion had been how much he hated Kylo, and he had to suppress another smile, thinking of how much things had changed since then - and how much better off they both were, despite everything, for it. "Let me know when you're ready."
As soon as Rey gave him the go-ahead, he began exerting pressure against her mental defenses, increasing it slowly and carefully so she'd have time to figure out what she was trying to do.
Meanwhile, while Jacob and Rey made their supply run, Leia had settled herself into the chair that went with the tiny desk next to Kylo's bed - though, she'd been visibly wrestling with the question of whether to just leave, until Kylo actually began looking through the texts that Rey had brought back. "...Would you mind if I looked at one? Between the two of us, it might go a little faster, trying to find what you need."
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Time and experience, however, taught Kylo more than Snoke ever did. Jacob was gifted in ways Kylo simply was not, and vice versa. When they both learned how to work with each other instead of against each other, they both progressed far more rapidly. Now, they were a paradigm for what a master and apprentice should be - far more than Skywalker could claim with teacher or student alike.
“All right.” Rey was still wary, but eventually did give Jacob permission to try and breach her mind. “I’m ready.”
The first few attempts were shaky at best. She absolutelu hated feeling him inside her head, even if he did only skim the surface. She tried to fill her mind with strong emotions, and Jacob likely glimpsed a few scattered memories of a young girl crying in the sandy dunes at night, the anger of a prisoner in a First Order interrogation chamber or a frustrated padawan desperste to find her place in all this. Each time, though, she had to quickly shut herself down.
By the time they reached the hut, however, she’d found her mental footing. Much like she did while battling Kylo on Starkiller, she let the Force flow through her and suddenly, flowing around Jacob’s intrusions was easy. At long last, she successfully redirected him. At long last, something actually made sense!
“I did it! It worked!!”
inside the hut, mother and son were both searching through the ancient tomes. Clearly, they’d come to some sort of mutual agreement. It was unlikely that Kylo had propped up the various pillows on his own, but he was resting comfortably against them, and the extra blanket was draped neatly over his lap. He was trying his best to focus, but exhaustion was winning out.
Leia shot them a glance as they entered, shushing Rey gently.
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When she finally did get it, Jacob couldn't help grinning. "See, what did I tell you? You're a natural. Actually, I kind of think that's why Skywalker didn't want to train you - he didn't want the responsibility for someone as gifted as you are." Which, after the way things had gone with Kylo, was less flattery and more of a solid working theory - as badly as he'd failed Kylo, maybe Skywalker was trying to play it safe with Rey by doing as little as possible, though that came with its own pitfalls. Jacob, at least, wasn't encumbered by a similar level of caution, and as they arrived back at their makeshift lodgings, he was already thinking about what else he might be able to teach Rey that would be of use to all of them in the days to come.
As Jacob reentered the hut, and took in the scene with Kylo and Leia, his protective instincts flared again - part of him wanted to pull General Organa outside and hiss at her that as much as she'd hurt Kylo, she didn't get to try to cozy up to him now, when he was vulnerable; however, he forced the urge back before the others could sense it, reminding himself that there was nothing wrong with her showing Kylo a little bit of basic human decency. General Organa knew she no longer had any claim to her son, and she'd been nothing but respectful from the moment Jacob had first contacted her.
Still, he was back by Kylo's side in an instant. "Find anything useful?" He wrapped one of the sleeping bags around him and finding a comfortable spot for the heating pad before setting up the IV pole and connecting bags of crystalloid and nutrient solutions onto Kylo's central line.
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But when they both entered the hut, it was Leia's side she went to. Not Kylo Ren's. She wanted to tell Leia what she'd just learned, but the Resistance General motioned for quiet. The silence made it feel like less of a research session and more like a deathbed vigil.
If Leia noticed Jacob's initial reaction through the Force, she didn't acknowledge it. Neither did Rey. Kylo wearily looked up, and Jacob was already kneeling beside him.
It was clear from his place in the tome that he hadn't made it nearly as far as he wanted to.
"Not yet... Even with two people looking. I need to feel it out... the way we did with Plagueis' writing..." His voice trailed off, unwilling to admit the obvious in the presence of his mother, even if she already knew. But I'm too tired right now.
He trusted her enough to accept comfort, but not enough to completely lower his guard under her watch.
Meanwhile, Rey bit her lip. She felt like she was intruding on a very private moment of weakness. Leia was lost in her own thoughts, to the point that a quick tap on her shoulder startled her.
"Let's... give them some time to get settled." she suggested. "We need to check on Master Skywalker."
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Jacob turned back to the others. "We'll reconvene in the morning, when we can accomplish more." A faint hint of a smile touched his lips as he focused on Rey. "Rey, good job today - just keep working on strengthening your mental defenses like I showed you, and before long, maintaining them will become something you can do instinctively."
General Organa, meanwhile, was still staring at, but mostly through, the book in her hands. "...Do you mind if I keep this one overnight?"
Evidently, something in it had called to her, and Jacob glanced back over at his master for reassurance before giving her their permission. "Just make sure you get it back to us first thing in the morning, and be ready to tell us everything you can about its contents." If at least one of them made some progress tonight, it would be better than nothing.
As soon as Rey and Leia had left, Jacob busied himself tarping the windows and any cracks he could find in the stone walls, just to try to make the place a little more livable, before adding more of what, on closer inspection, turned out to be some kind of dried seaweed to the fire. Finally, he rolled out the ground pad and his sleeping bag on top of it on the floor next to Kylo's bed. "...Today definitely went a lot better than I was expecting."
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Rey felt a surge of unexpected pride when Jacob praised her. “I will. And when Master Skywalker prepares dinner, I’ll...”
She looked at the IV, feeling more torn than before. Just what had Snoke done? How sick was he? He could eat, couldn’t he? Either way, he probably wasn’t going to be up to joining them, and Jacob had been loathe to go anywhere without his master. It would probably be far better for Luke as well if they kept their distance for now.
“I’ll bring something over.”
The air stilled considerably once Rey and Leia were gone. Kylo let himself truly relax for the first time since they arrived in the system. He was exhausted, but he forced himself to stay awake while Jacob finished preparing the hut.
“You... you think so?” He mumbled in tired disbelief.
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He took one of the tomes down off the small stack next to the bed, and began thumbing through it to get a cursory sense of what he was dealing with. "...Do you trust whatever Skywalker's going to make for dinner?" The local cuisine was evidently not lethal to humans, but beyond that, Jacob wasn't sure what to expect, either. He didn't want to give Kylo anything that was going to challenge his stomach when he was only just getting used to eating solids again. "If not, or if you don't think you'll be awake long enough to find out, I can just rehydrate some of our rations."
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“...thank you.” He returned the gentle squeeze - a gesture of gratitude for everything his apprentice had done to secure a truce between everyone and, like always, for being the anchor he so badly needed.
“I know I should eat something.” He sighed. He wasn’t hungry, even if his body was screaming to replace every bit of what the Force wound burned through. “Better the rations. At least for now.”
He hoped that he’d have more energy in the morning after he’d slept - energy that he’d dedicate to reaching out to the Force itself for guidance and meditating on the tome still open beside him.
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Jacob rehydrated and heated up a small portion of their food rations for Kylo, probably all he could handle right now - the IV nutrient packs would help keep him going for now, but Jacob would have to get an actual, decent meal into him in the morning. He was hopeful that Kylo would feel much better by then, despite the chill and the damp - as densely as the energy of the Force, both the light side and the dark side, permeated the island, he might be able to draw off it unconsciously, or perhaps the will of the Force itself would give him what he needed, to prop up and begin repairing his shattered body. "Eat whatever you can manage."
On the other hand, Jacob was going to be brave and try whatever it was that Rey was bringing for them. If he got the chance, he also wanted to talk to her a little more, now that he wasn't rushing to see to it that his master was taken care of - he wanted to get a better feel about where her head was at, regarding all of this. He suspected that she would be the one they would rely on most, in their push against Snoke, so it was important for him to put to rest as many of her doubts and fears as he could.
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About an hour later, Rey knocked softly on the door to the hut before peeking inside.
She knew right away that Kylo Ren was fast alseep, and also that his apprentice wasn’t.
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Jacob was concentrating his focus on the text he'd been thumbing through earlier, trying to get a feel for its contents and what he needed from them, when Rey returned; he barely noticed her knocking, and almost jumped when she opened the door a little. Motioning for her to keep quiet, he set the book back down with the others before stepping outside to join her, and to examine what Skywalker had made for them. He couldn't exactly identify anything in the bowl, but at least it smelled better than he'd anticipated. "Thanks. Would you mind maybe sticking around for a few minutes?"
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If they needed something even more nutritious, there was always the milk of the thala-sirens. Luke Skywalker had been subsisting on it, along with what he could catch or gather, for the better part of a decade. But they usually didn’t beach themselves until sunrise, so that would have to wait until morning.
It was an odd feeling, caring enough for her enemies to ensure they didn’t starve. But seeing Kylo Ren like that struck more of a nerve than she expected it to. And the technique she learned from Jacob was more useful than anything Luke had shown her.
So when Jacob asked, Rey nodded, “All right.”
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In the middle of the cluster of huts was a set of weathered stone benches; Jacob led the way over and picked a seat on one, leaving plenty of room for Rey to join him. As she settled in, he tried a bite of his stew; it was surprisingly not horrible.
"...So, I know all of this is a lot to take in," he began. Which had to be an understatement, really; a week ago, Kylo Ren was probably the last person in the galaxy she'd ever thought she'd team up with, least of all for something like assassinating Snoke. "How are you feeling about everything? I don't want to put any more pressure on you than you can handle."
Eventually, though, she'd have to bear the burden of helping them command the immense energies it would take to destroy Snoke, even more so now that it had become apparent that Skywalker couldn't help them properly - and there were many things Jacob had to decide whether to tell her, that might change her perspective on the entire situation. He definitely didn't want her cracking from stress at this stage.
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"The Force..." she finally replied. "It's inside me. It's awake. But I still don't understand what it is or what my place is in all this..."
She thought back to Starkiller Base, when that monster killed his own father and then offered to be her teacher and show her the ways of the Force. She refused, and instead followed the map they'd obtained to Skywalker - convinced that this was the right way. And yet, there was a part of her still questioning. Skywalker didn't fully trust her. Thanks to everything Kylo did, he probably never would, no matter how hard she tried to prove him wrong.
"I don't know how I'm going to help you fight Snoke."
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"As for what the Force is..." He smiled, briefly. "That's something that sentients have been trying to come to grips with for tens of thousands of years. Finding your place in it is easier, though. All you have to do is truly listen to what it's trying to tell you, and believe it, and act on it - no matter how painful that might be at first." Jacob was definitely one to talk; he'd spent more than a decade of his life resisting what the Force was trying to tell him about who he was and where he belonged, and resisting it had nearly destroyed him before Kylo had finally forced him to embrace it. He didn't even want to think about the idea that Rey might have an equally painful journey ahead.
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Instead, she focused on what she could understand - at least partly.
“Listen to what it’s trying to tell me...” she mused. Again, she thought back to Starkiller Base, the first time she truly felt this power calling to her. But then again, she felt Snoke calling to her too. Kylo was right, and she knew it now. It was so insidiously natural that she almost couldn’t tell the difference.
No, she reasoned with herself. One felt right. The other... didn’t.
“...Before you arrived, I saw your master. He was standing on the cliffs, looking at the tree. I thought it was some kind of ghost at first. Or something I just imagined, but Master Skywalker saw it too.”
Luke wouldn’t talk about what they’d both seen, she added. That, of course, came as no surprise.
“He was gone before I had a chance to say or do anything. But I could feel something. Something horrible, like a sickness inside me. And a voice, it might have been the Force, it might have even been Snoke, saying, ‘you can’t do it. The effort alone would kill you.’ That’s when he disappeared.”
She drew a deep breath, only then realizing how much she was shaking. “The voice is right, isn’t it. What you’re planning on doing. He’s willing to die for this.”
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He had to fight back hard against the urge to smile when the thought crossed his mind that there was no kriffing way he was going to allow himself to end up a single father to multiple children at only 23 years old.
Noticing how much Rey was shaking, he reached out to place a steadying hand on her shoulder. "We'll all get through this. I don't know what things will be like afterward, but that much, I can promise you." He truly didn't know what the Force would need from them after they'd purged it of the cancer threatening to take hold, he didn't even know if things like the Resistance or the First Order mattered to its designs. All he had to go on was the sense he'd developed very recently, that soon the most recent generations of Force sensitives would be pushed into exploring a space beyond the light or dark sides, and what they'd find there would be crucial to bringing true balance to the galaxy.
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Just as she felt the Force through the rocks and trees of the island during her first meditation session with Skywalker, she felt the Force through his touch. There was a calming sense of conviction that, given her earlier lesson, she was positive wasn't a mind trick. She really wasn't alone. None of them were. Not here. Not as long as they had the Force.
"You feel like I do. In the Force." she observed. "Leia too, but not strongly."
They both knew that Skywalker had shut himself off from the Force, and the more she started to learn about it, the more it bothered her that he would do something like that at all.
"But Kylo is different. It's not just because he's sick. There's something... more. What exactly did Snoke do to him?"
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Jacob turned his gaze back to his stew for a moment, poking it contemplatively with the spoon as he tried to decide how best to answer that question. Finally, he decided that there was no getting around the horror of it, so it was better to just address it head-on. "Kylo Ren was used as one of the power sources in a successor weapon to Starkiller Base. I should have pulled him off it sooner, but..." He paused for a moment to collect himself, prodding viciously at a lump of what he assumed was fish.
Rey didn't need to hear his self-recriminations, or how deeply Snoke had brainwashed them both to even get to this point. She probably already knew. "Being exposed to that amount of sheer destructive energy, and to the death toll generated by even its first, covert missions, caused a wound in the Force to develop inside of Kylo - a void that can suck the life from whatever it comes in contact with. I got him out while it was still small enough to be contained and managed, but right now, we still don't know how to close it, or if it's safe to try."
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“I think... I might have felt that too.” She admitted softly. It wasn’t as clear as the ghostly vision she saw here on Ahch-To. It was more of an ache, a cry for help that she couldn’t explain but she knew didn’t belong to her. “The weapon. His place in it. It was like the Force itself was hurting. If that makes any sense at all.”
She glanced back toward the hut. Closing her eyes, she reached out, familiarizing herself with his uneasy presence as he slept. She didn’t dare go any closer than that.
Nor did she even have to ask if this was something they planned on using in their fight against Snoke. Clearly, one could be weaponized, and something capable of destroying a planet could easily destroy a person. And possibly everything else - them included. She wondered if the ancient texts had any record of these Force wounds, or if Luke had any idea how to contain one. Everything was so complicated, and she didn’t know what to do.
Eventually, she just let out a long sigh. “When I called him a monster, this wasn’t what I had in mind.”
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Finally, he managed to get himself to take a few more bites of his stew. Unlike Rey, he at least had some faith that the fact that things were complicated didn't make them insurmountable; for once, the Force was on their side, and it would show them the way. Wounds were nothing new to it, either - for at least the past forty thousand years, there had been beings who sought to create and weaponize them; however, closing them was something different, and it didn't seem to have a way to do that yet on time scales shorter than centuries. Kylo might just be the one who could change that, and Jacob was incredibly proud of him either way.
He hadn't intended to end up defending Kylo to Rey, but it came out before he could think the better of it. It wasn't a reprimand, however; his tone was still quiet and gentle. "He's done plenty of monstrous things, but that doesn't necessarily make him a monster. He's just been hurt so many times in, so many ways, and had it all twisted up inside his head by Snoke, that he doesn't know how to deal with it anymore other than by lashing out. There's still more good in him than you'd think is possible, and if you don't believe me, just try being kind to him, and see what you get back."
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“He killed his own father!” She shouted. The memory played back inside her head. The first person (aside from a slavedriver like Plutt) that really took her under his wing, cared for her and made her feel like she had a tiny inkling of what was taken from her as a child... murdered. Just like that. No remorse. “I will never forgive him for that!”
She wasn’t entirely sure if anyone really deserved to have a void like that inside them. But at the same time, Kylo had everything she ever wanted - namely, a family. And he destroyed it all! He deserved to suffer for...
No. This was exactly what Snoke wanted them to do, wasn’t it.
Rey closed her eyes and reached out with the Force. It took a few long seconds to calm down, but she eventually did. And when she did, she could feel that Force wound - open, raw and bleeding. The planet itself seemed to be feeding it.
“Sorry... it’s just...” she sighed, standing up. “I think I need some time alone.”
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